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you, you were where i was, but you, you were far gone
and you wouldn't even call once i was gone
and there was nothing, nothing i could retrieve
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2. |
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this time, this place, these people
they're looking at you strangely
like you weren't responding
you're a mess at trying to articulate
you're a mess at trying to articulate
yourself
this time, this place, these people
they're looking at you strangely
like you weren't responding
you're utterly incapable of hearing them
you're utterly incapable of hearing just
one word
this time, this place, these people
they're looking at you strangely
like you weren't responding
there was that time when i needed you
there was that time when i needed you
the most
you said:
"there was a time, when you weren't where i needed you.
there was a place and you weren't there, when i needed you.
there were people and they were there, when i needed you.
and even though you could have been anywhere i have,
i would have said: 'it just feels like everyone has fled'
in the end it is not about what you could have done,
but who has been the more persistent one"
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3. |
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i'm running against the wall
where there's no time
i cannot feel my head as if you've ripped it off back then
when you were desperate for sth
now i'm lying on my back
and i've got no time
this wall creates a gloom that i would want to leave behind
it is nothing but the projection of the turning of your head that day
i know i can't be sure if it's really gone or if you're fooling me
by tapping me without a sound
you leaving traces, it is irreparable - go go go go go go go go go go
this is the wall
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4. |
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how do you suppose, we'll get on, once we're done?
--------------------------------, once you're done?
--------------------------------, once i'm done?
--------------------------------, once it's done?
you don't know what i thought, when i said goodbye.
and it's easier for you to believe that i did say goodbye.
though i really didn't, i didn't do it, i didn't say goodbye.
anything that i've tried, it's not gonna work, that's what i found out.
and though you could talk me into anything, i'm not gonna do this.
we've tried the longest time and now we can do nothing but sleep!
i feel so dead and tired upon this pile of history
and i don't know how we'll get on after i'm gone.
---------------- how we'll get on after this is done, because i'm gone...
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5. |
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1,2,3,4 i'm leaving no trace of my ship
for you to see my anyway, for you to be
able to reach me any way
i swear to you, it doesn't matter
you left without telling me, what this will mean for me
and i'm not talking about the facts, i'm talking figuratively
even after i'd taken off my dancing shoes, it pinched like before
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6. |
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Everytime we look at pictures of him in a shirt you tell me that I look exactly like him. "His looks, his figure, his suits resemble those of John F. Kennedy or James Dean, overly handsome. I never knew an awful lot about him, actually I still don't know a thing about him. He has never been terribly open or talkative. He just does things, cracks a joke once in a while, eats, watches Tv, walks his dog, reads his newspaper. For as long as I can think, I have never seen him sad. I have seen him on edge indeed,but that's about it. Now that I think about it, within this being on edge there always lay a heartbreaking kind of sadness, a blank despair, he didn't seem to understand himself. It must have had to do with all the things nobody knew about him. But overall he retained an overwhelming calm, not because he was naturally calm, he couldn't help it." I tell you and you look at me and say: "You talk about him as if he were already dead." "I know", I said. It struck me that you wouldn't stay anyway. Later I read your message, that you would stow it away safely for us and that you had to go somewhere else now and four more words, that you repeated twice and that I didn't really get. I looked into the mirror and saw someone resembling john f. kennedy imitating james dean trying to be my mother's father looking somewhat like me and I looked down my body and wondered what all of this was and how it came to be this way and why my hair was green or brown or white or blue or what green and brown and white and blue meant and why green was green and brown was brown and so on and then I stopped and sat down and wrote a message to somebody else that wasn't you but also important and told this person, that it is very much okay to be running into a tree...
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and why wouldn't we?
and why shouldn't we?
nobody said it would be ok
to be running into a tree
at least if from the beginning on
it's a possibility
i still have my telephone turned every night in hopes you'd call
somebody has to try to articulate that it's OK to be running into a tree
somebody has to try to articulate that it's fine to be failing
--------------------------------- that sometimes there is more than making an effort
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released May 14, 2012